You'll See
by Out-Tonight-07
Summary: Focused on MimiRoger, but includes MaureenJoanne, Mark, and Collins. Immediately postRENT. I have 3 more chapters ready to post, but I'm not going to until I get at least 10 reviews.
1. Introduction

1**A/N– Don't own characters or music, blah, blah.**

Introduction

"I DO love him! I have to tell him that." Mimi Marquez sat in her run-down home thinking once again about the object of her affection, Roger Davis from the apartment upstairs. Mimi, a beautiful 19 year old dancer from the Cat Scratch Club, and Roger, leader of a rock band, have had a very rocky relationship thus far. Mimi, as much as she would love to call Roger her boyfriend, can't, as long as Roger continues to deny his love for her.

She's been so pushy, from the first time she walked into my place with that stupid candle. Maybe I don't WANT to commit. Maybe I don't love anyone but April; Does Mimi really expect me to get over my girlfriend's suicide this quickly? And it doesn't help that she has HIV too, I don't want all her clingy baggage, as if I don't have enough issues of my own. Maybe it'll work out when she gets off the junk," Roger mused in bed while trying to fall asleep, not knowing that Mimi was coming up the stairs to confess her love for him and interrupt his quiet thinking.

Mimi decided that she couldn't bear thinking about Roger any longer without seeing him. He was bound to be home anyways, it was January, cold, cloudy, and 2:30 in the morning. As she got up to walk out the door, Mimi became aware that she was still in her work clothes. "Haha .. clothes .. right .." She found the term funny, seeing as her work outfit usually included less material than a skimpy two-piece bathing suit. If she wanted a chance at a serious conversation with Roger, Mimi decided she ought to wear real clothes. In the past she HAD tried to win over the guitar player with her body. He wasn't into it. Roger didn't admit he was into it at least. Mimi put on her signature leopard jacket, but opted against leaving behind the work ensemble.


	2. 2:30 am

1**Chapter 1**

Knock, knock Mark awoke to the sound of rapping steel.

"What .. the .. fuck ..?" He said groggily, and fumbled with his glasses. Something was knocking at the door, and if it was a person, they were going to become very unlucky as soon as Mark got up. Since the snores from Roger's direction indicated that he was not going to spare Mark, he got out of bed, ran a hand through his hair, and made his way through lingering sleep to the door. Whoever it was knocked again, making Mark in an even worse mood.

He opened the door, and without looking at who was standing outside of it, greeted the visitor with a friendly, "What the fuck do you want?"

"Uhmm .. hello. I was sort of hoping Roger would answer the door."

"Meem? Sorry about that, but really, what are you doing here at," Mark paused and attempted to stifle a yawn, "2 in the morning?"

"Actually, Marky, it's 2:30. And I came to see Roger." Mimi answered back as if it were completely polite and normal to show up at someone's door at 2:30 in the morning. "By the way, you didn't have to get all dressed up for me." She replied, snickering.

Mark looked down and examined himself, "What are you talking ab .. Wait. Thanks a lot Mimi," Now slightly embarrassed to be standing in front of the beautiful girl in nothing but old boxers. "Sit down, and I'll get Roger. Would you like him with clothes or without, 'little miss strip club'?" Mark looked Mimi up and down, and couldn't help wondering how Roger could possibly say no to this beautiful girl thrusting her heart out at him. He would GLADLY take her.

"Shut up." Mimi replied, knowing Mark was having a little mental fantasy about her. She was used to it, though, and Mark wasn't creepy like any of the drunken customers who tried to gain sexual favors from her. That's one of the things you get used to when you're the lead dancer at a 'gentlemens club'.

Mimi made her way to the boys' couch and sat down. Looking at the ragged piece of furniture, she noticed it was constructed more of duct tape than actual fabric nowadays. Next to her was a cold, metal, industrial table. It was hard for Mimi to believe that just 3 weeks ago she almost died on the table in Roger's arms. She had come so close to losing her life, yet so close to receiving Roger's unconditional love that night. Now that she was back at work, and back at Roger's door, he had much less compassion than that terrible night. Now all Mimi could do to feel that she still had a chance was replay the song that Roger had painstakingly wrote for her.

_How'd I let you slip away when I'm longing so to hold you, now I'd die for one more day, cause there's something I should've told you .. I should tell you .. I have always loved you, you can see it in my eyes._

Mimiwould die for Roger now, because she knew he loved her, but he couldn't bring himself to face commitment to baggage without lifetime guarantee. If Mimi could pick out the one thing that used to bother Roger about her, it would be her heroin addiction. She wasn't proud of it, but Roger accepted, for the immediate future after that night at least, that Mimi couldn't quit right now. She had almost died doing it before, and even if he didn't love her as a girlfriend, Roger didn't want Mimi to die trying to please him.

"Mimi, what the hell? Really. It's 2 in the morning.", Roger walked over to the couch in sweatpants and his band tshirt. Mark had obviously warned him about his boxer experience.

"It's 2:45 actually. And I'm here to tell you that I can't .." Mimi stopped, looking over at Mark's doorway. "Mark, would you mind if this was private?"

"Ah shit. I always miss out on the good stuff." A grumbled reply drifted out of the bedroom, and then the door shut.

"I'm here to tell you that I can't stand this anymore Roger. I love you. I'm ready for commitment and I've heard your pathetic speech too many times. We both have fucking HIV, Roger. I could die next month! You could die soon too! I know that you love me. Why is it so hard for you to tell me that? WHY ROGER? I love you. I love you so much." Mimi poured her heart out to Roger as tears came streaming down her face.

"Meems, please, don't do this to me right now." Roger was fighting back tears. The same Roger Davis who turned Mimi away for so long began to cry at the thought of losing her. "I love you too. April, she's dead, Mimi. She's not stopping me. It's me. I'm scared .. you almost died on my fucking kitchen table 3 weeks ago! You're thin, you're pale .."

"It's so nice to hear how beautiful I am," Mimi spat back.

"No Meem. You are beautiful. Every time I see you I feel like nothing else on Earth. Even when you brought me that stupid candle." Roger laughed at the memory. "Mimi, I love you. I do love you." Roger stopped in realization and embraced Mimi. "And by the way, nice outfit."

He held her in his arms and vowed never to let go. Not again. He was not going to push her away this time. He held her on the couch until they fell asleep.


	3. Pizza and a Hairdryer

1**Chapter 2**

Mimi woke up warm and happy in Roger's arms. She had won, finally. After a whole year of battling with him, he had willingly expressed his feelings for her. Mimi couldn't help feeling victorious, like she had won something. Hell, this was Roger she just cracked. She had won the Olympics.

Mimi turned her head and examined her lover. 'He is so hot. Daaaamn.' She thought to herself. And now he was all hers. She planted a kiss on his sleeping forehead.

Roger stirred, "Mo .. Maureen, is that you?" He faked sleep-talking.

"Oh," Mimi decided to play along, "Maureen, yes. And I'm .. here .. to .." She stood up and prepared to pounce. "GET YOU!" Mimi leapt onto Roger and gave him a big, sloppy kiss.

"OW! GOD! UGH! Look where you put your knees, girl!", Roger moaned in pain.

Mimi mentally smacked herself on the head. 'Way to kill the mood, Meem,' She imagined Roger thinking.

"I am so sorry! Roger! Are you ok?", Mimi switched to her sexy voice, and didn't notice that Mark had just walked out of his bedroom in a bathrobe and fuzzy slippers, watching with amusement. "Would you like me to kiss it and make it feel better?"

"GOOD MORNING LOVEBIRDS!" Mark greeted Mimi and Roger with mock cheerfulness in a bright blue bathrobe and fuzzy slippers. "I'm guessing that last night went well?" He paused for a moment. "Oh .. My .. God. Please tell me you didn't do it on my couch."

"GOOD MORNING MARK!", Mimi and Roger chorused. But the mood had been disturbed by their friend's terrible timing.

"So, who wants breakfast," Roger offered. "We have ..." He examined the kitchen. Numerous empty bottles of alcohol ... Check. Numerous full bottles of alcohol ... Check. Food ... Not Check. "Well, we have booze."

"I just went shopping, we can all go down to my place and I'll, uh, 'hairdry-er' us a frozen pizza." Mimi attempted to sound helpful, but she knew it sounded lame.

Mark and Roger didn't take long to come up with an answer, but Roger was quick to respond. "Who's good with Stoli?"

The three of them laughed together as Mimi opened up the bottle of vodka and poured generous amounts into three coffee mugs.

Roger took a swig. "Hairdry-er a pizza, Meems? Is your microwave broken again?"

Mimi downed her portion in one gulp, impressing the boys. "Who said I ever knew how to use it? Besides, what about 'no day but today'. What if today's the day to have a pizza made by hairdryer?" She laughed at herself.

"How fast does booze go to your head?" Mark said in an attempt at a joking tone that anyone but Mimi and Roger would find rude.

They continued laughing together while Mimi poured another round.

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"Marky Mark .. I lo-looooooooooooove you!" Mimi spoke as a person who had a obviously downed almost half a bottle of vodka.

"Marky Mark loves you too Meem-a-bug!" Mark had drank less, but still a significant portion.

Roger, in the meantime, had opened some tequila and was making significant headway into that bottle. "Who says you're allowed to like my Meem-a-bug? Huh? She's my girl, Cohen."

Mark offered a pathetic reply."You suck, Roger, 'kay?"

Mimi being the sort of a person who can make anything into a sexual reference, she didn't miss the opportunity. "HEY! If anyone gets to suck Roger it's gonna be me, right baby?"

"Oooooh. I like the sound of that. Mark, you wanna give us a moment?" Roger raised his eyebrows and pouted his lips in mock pleading.

"I'll leave if .. If you two follow some rules. NEVER resemble Maureen that much ever again, and please .." He stopped, hoping Mimi and Roger would catch on before he had to embarrass himself. The obviously didn't so Mark sighed, "NOT on my couch."

At that, Mark wrapped his tattered striped scarf around his neck, grabbed his camera, and proceeded to walk out the door. He made it to the stairs outside the apartment before Mimi called after him, "Hey Cohen, who'd you get all dressed up for?"

Roger and Mimi shared a glance while they imagined Mark looking down at his ensemble.

"Shut up." Mark reentered the room, still in his bathrobe and slippers and headed to go change

"Your place?" Roger asked Mimi, but not before they had shared a good laugh at Mark.

"Benny turned off my heat again .." She spoke with scorn.

"Don't bring him up right now," said Roger with equal hate, "But, um, I have a feeling we aren't going to need it."

Mimi giggled like a little girl. "Can you two LEAVE now?", a call came from behind Mark's door.

At that, Mimi pulled Roger up off the couch, and they ran downstairs, laughing and holding hands, to Mimi's place.

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Downstairs in Mimi's apartment, the happy couple was having a great time entertaining themselves.

"I'm hungry." Roger always knew how to kill the mood, but Mimi didn't miss another opportunity, "Eat me, then."

"Again? I was thinking PIZZA MAYBE. No day but today, remember?" Roger smiled at Mimi's silliness. He was so lucky to have her.

"I'll get the hairdryer. You get the food." Mimi walked to the bathroom, got the hairdryer, and proceeded to plug it in the kitchen outlet. She turned it on, the fuse blew, and all the lights in the apartment shut off.

"Fabulous. We have no pizza, it's dark, the only person here is my boyfriend, and I'm not due in work until 9. What's a girl to do?"

Roger pinned her to the bed and went in for a kiss.


	4. To Mexican Beavers

1**Chapter 3**

"Meem?" Roger's muffled voice found its way out of the sheets and pillows.

"Yeah baby?" Mimi ran a hand through his thick hair.

"That was amazing. Like, WOW .." Roger's facial expression showed that he wasn't kidding.

"Yeah? Well, most guys do tell me that." Mimi joked back at him, but Roger knew there was truth behind her teasing. Every man (and some women) in Alphabet City wanted Mimi in their bed.

"Yeah? Well maybe I should give them a piece of my mind about gettin' all touchy-feely on my girl, huh?"

'My girl'. She liked it. Mimi laughed at him, not at his silliness, but at the fact that 2 days ago Roger wouldn't have let her sit on his bed. Then her stomach growled. Loudly.

"You hungry too?" Roger must have heard. "Do we have power yet?"

Mimi got out of bed and attempted to turn on the lights. Darkness. "Guess not. Benny's an asshole, you know that?"

"No kidding. I think it's time for us to invade Collins' place. I hope he has pizza." Roger chuckled at himself.

Ever since Angel died in October, Collins had not been himself. Angel had really brought out the best in him, and now he was always lonely. Mimi and Roger mutually decided that he could use some company.

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_BEEP!_

Collins shuffled over to the coffee pot. He hated being alone. On gloomy days like this, he and Angel would have normally 'spend the day in'. Now that Angel was .. gone (Collins hated the word dead), and Maureen and Joanne were out of town, and Mimi and Roger, well, Collins suspected that if Mimi had finally cracked him, they would be busy. Mark was never any fun.

Maureen had taken Joanne to Long Island for a surprise lovers' getaway, maybe to show Joanne how sorry she was that she really screwed up their engagement ceremony. Collins didn't want to think about all the lovely lesbian sex they would be having at the Johnson's exclusive summer house.

In the meantime, Collins would sit on his sofa and drink pots and pots of coffee in his favorite trench coat. It was a gift from _her_. Normally he would get drunk with Roger and Mark, but Collins wasn't even in the mood for that. He just sat on the couch and drank coffee.

Knock, knock.

Someone was at the door! Collins really hoped it was one of his friends coming to keep him company.

"Surprise! We came over because Mimi sucks." Roger was oddly peppy.

"Mimi sucks, hmm? Wouldn't that keep you two at home-?" Collins smirked at the two of them.

"SHUT UP COLLINS," Mimi and Roger chorused

Collins laughed. "So, Mimi sucks? Cut to the chase, brother."

Mimi gave Roger a look, and he gave her a 'don't-you-dare-bring-that-up-again' look right back. "So I don't know how to use a microwave? I bought him a pizza. Compliments of that creepy Mexican guy with the buck teeth, the regular at work I tell you about."

"SO did not need to hear that. Meem, you don't know how to use your microwave? Why do you have one then? Why don't you sell it and get some extra cash?" Collins stopped. "Why are we still standing in the doorway? Come, have a seat."

Roger and Mimi sat down on Collins couch. "Hey, do you guys want something to eat? I think I picked up the hint. I've got tons of shit. Bananas, cream cheese .." He fumbled through cabinets, and one of the doors broke off. "DAMN. When I stole these off the street they were perfectly fine. Oh well. Celery, Raisin Bran, apples, granola .."

"Are you on one of those weird faggot diets where you copy the eating habits of a 60-year-old woman?" Roger poked fun at Collins, knowing he wouldn't take it personally.

"It's based on 70-year-old women! God, Davis. If you want real shit we can run down to the McDonalds. Sounds good?"

Mimi nodded and Roger added, "Who's paying?"

Collins looked at the floor. He had quit his teaching job when Angel died, and income was sparse. Roger reached a hand into his pocket and pullet out his wallet. He opened it to find two dollar bills. "Well .." They both looked at Mimi.

"Remind me why we came over here again. I thought it was to mooch off Collins!" Mimi pulled a 20 out of her bra and waved it in the air as she stood up and put on her jacket.

Collins joked, "To Mexican beavers!" Roger punched him in the stomach. "You keep things .. in _there_?", Collins directed at Mimi.

"When I don't have pockets. It's easier than trying to keep it in place in a thong! Play nice, boys.", Mimi yelled over her shoulder as the three of them made their way down the stairs and out of the apartment building.

Roger and Collins stopped in their tracks and exchanged a look that needed no


	5. 5 Dollars

1**Chapter 4**

The next morning, Maureen and Joanne unpacked from their trip. For the first time in their rocky relationship, Maureen didn't flirt with any other women (in rubber or not), and Joanne didn't criticize her. The pair had been on an awesome vacation, but they were both excited and anxious to hear how Mimi and Roger were getting along.

"I swear, honeybear, she was going to talk to him about it." Maureen said in her sweetest voice.

Joanne looked cynical. "Poor Mimi. I hope she didn't wear her work outfit. You know how Roger hates that. And I hope she didn't bring up anything about April or HIV."

"I still think she finally got to him. I had one of those telepathic visions when we were .. well. At the house." Joanne actually giggled at the thought.

"Alright. 5 bucks says they're fighting worse than ever." Joanne's cynical look didn't change.

Maureen reached out to shake her hand. "Fine. But for me, 5 bucks says they aren't fighting anymore."

"Deal." Joanne felt pretty confident in herself. Not that she didn't want Mimi and Roger together, she loved them both, but Roger, well there's no telling with him.

"So .." Maureen threw a ball of clothes on the floor and slammed her suitcase shut. "I'm finished." Joanne knew not to point out that she had just made a complete mess of their clean bedroom.

"Me too." She looked down at her full suitcase. "It's killing you, isn't it Mo?"

Maureen raised her eyebrows. "WHAT'S killing me."

"The suspense. You can't stand knowing you're going to lose 5 bucks sooner or later." Joanne poked Maureen playfully.

"Right. I'll get my keys to their loft."

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Mimi and Roger dropped Collins off at his place, and went back to the loft. They made their way up the four flights of stairs and to the door of Mark and Roger's apartment.

"Well? It's only 5:30. You've still got 3 hours until work." Roger said nonchalantly as he searched his pocket for keys to the door.

"I'm supposed to guess that you haven't had _enough_ sex today?" Mimi removed her jacket and threw it over a chair as they walked in the door.

"Well. Yes." Roger removed his jacket and sweatshirt for a different reason than Mimi. He put his arms around her tiny waist and kissed her passionately.

She pulled away, "I don't think I have either." They engaged in the lip-lock once more, and Mimi pulled away again. "You are NOT going to forget the condom. Remember last time? I shouldn't have to remind you twice in one day."

Roger released his hold on her and shuffled to the bathroom and pulled of a box, presumably of condoms. "Shit .. SHIT .. where'd they go? Oh fuck. Mimi? I'm out!"

"I guess this is gonna have to wait. We can still have a little fun I suppose." Mimi replied, obviously upset about this predicament.

Roger ran back to the couch where Mimi was laying down and pounced on her. "OUCH! FUCK! Roger! Watch where you put your elbows!"

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Joanne and Maureen made their way up the stairs to the loft arguing lightly.

"Shouldn't we stop by Mimi's place to see if she's ok? If her and Roger are fighting, we should try to calm her down. You know how she takes it from him."

"She's probably in here making him dinner or something." Maureen said confidently.

Joanne stopped and looked at Maureen skeptically. "Mimi doesn't know how to use a microwave."

"Oh yeah .."

Joanne pulled the keys out of her jacket and turned it in the door.

"Wait, pookie. Shouldn't we knock or something? It seems kinda rude just to burst in if they're having quality time."

"Please, remember the bet? Roger's sitting by the window being his old sulky self. He'll welcome the company. Wait .. I hear Mimi. Yeah." Joanne pushed open the door.

_Roger, please no, stop, oh God .._

"OMIGOD.", was all Maureen good say. "I WIN!"

Joanne and Maureen stood in the doorway of the loft staring at the sofa. They had apparently walked in at a very inconvenient time. Joanne stood dumbstruck. Mimi was in a very compromising position, tied to the arm of the sofa, with Roger on top of her, licking various parts of her naked body.

Mimi and Roger looked up, hearing Maureen's voice. Very embarrassed, Roger covered Mimi. "So guys, how was .. vacation? Oh yeah .. Do you have a condom on you? I can't stand myself."

Joanne shut the door and made sure to lock it behind her.

"5 bucks pookie!"


	6. I'd Die Without You

1A/N - Whole chapter is a flashback in Mimi's POV

**Chapter 5**

_Roger and Collins set me down on the table and covered me with a jacket. Collins stepped back, allowing Roger to be near me for what could have been our last time together._

_Will you light my candle? I'm shivering. The jacket, it isn't warm enough. Hold me. I need your body heat. I tried to talk to Roger but my brain hadn't been working right in weeks. The cold was unbearable. A subconscious part of me wanted to feel the warm light and leave behind everything here._

_I can't remember what was happening. I think Mark called 911. I couldn't see straight. I know Roger was sitting on the table. I can still smell his salty tears mixed with smoke and cheap soap. I think Maureen and Joanne found me in the park._

_Roger started singing. I grabbed his jacket and tried to move my fingers to keep myself focused. I don't know why he couldn't look in my eyes. Roger's braver than me, he should be able to do this._

_I knew I was dying. Someone should call Mama. Someone can have my apartment. I have to make sure some of my clothes get back to work. I have to pay back my dealer some debt. I have to see Mark's film. I want to see Maureen and Joanne find a place that will legally wed women. I want Collins to get his job back. I have to tell Benny that I'm sorry for everything I did._

_I have to tell Roger that I love him._

_I have to live, I thought as I began slipping away. It got warmer. Someone must have turned on the heat and the lights. It was so bright._

_Hi Angel! Angel must have come into the loft to say goodbye to me._

_I saw everyone crying. I can see straight now! Then I saw Roger. He was holding someone. It was me! Why can I see myself? I felt like I was standing on the fire escape watching Roger cry on my body._

_He hasn't asked me to marry him yet! How did I get here? Why am I watching this? I have to go back._

_I'm only 19. Did some powerful force want me to die. God, I tried to be a good kid, but ever since Papi died and Mama found another man, my life has been screwed up. I've been clean for 3 weeks, and that's what killed me, God! I'm just a kid .. I want to go back. I have to go back._

_I cried out, but no one heard me. I hugged Angel, and she told me to go back to my friends. 'Honey, you've got a whole life to live. Turn around, and listen to that boy's song. He loves you. Go back, Mimi. Go back.'_

_I was freezing. What happened to the lights and the warm glow? The only muscle in my body I could move was my fingers. I tried to sit up and tell everyone that I was ok, and that they could stop being sad. I could only twitch my fingers, hoping someone would notice that I was moving._

'_Mimi? Oh my God. OH MY GOD. SHE'S ALIVE!'_

_Some strength within me made me able to sit up._

'_I was heading toward this warm, white light. And I swear. Angel was there. And she looked GOOOD. And she said. Turn around girlfriend. And listen to that boy's song.'_

_Maureen's put her warm and gentle hand on my forehead. 'Her fever's breaking.'_

'_You're drenched.'_

_I made it back to them. But not for long. I was still freezing. 'Roger, will you light my candle?' I grabbed him at his elbow and he winced. 'Don't touch me there.'_

_And then I collapsed again. 'Someone get a goddamned candle! HELP! Where's the fucking ambulance.'_

_It was too early to start celebrating. I was fading again._

'_Joanne! Call 911 again! Where's the fucking ambulance? Mark, go out and get some soup and firewood, and blankets, lots of blankets.' Benny handed him a wad of money and sent him out the door._

_It got warm again, and I was watching from the fire escape. Mark ran out the door. Maureen covered my body with blankets. Collins wiped the sweat off my face._

_NO! I LOVE THEM! ANGEL TOLD ME NOT TO LEAVE YET! NOOOOO!_

'_NO!'_

_I opened my eyes, back inside my body again. I must've yelled out loud._

'_She's holding on guys. Mimi. Hold on.' Roger grabbed my hand and I squeezed it tightly. I knew I was fading a third time, and maybe forever. I had to stay awake, away from the light. I sang raspily._

'_I'd die without you. I'd die without you. I'd die without you. I'd die without you.'_

_I felt warm again, but not from the white light. Mark was putting blankets all over me. He pulled up a trashcan and lit a fire. Yes, I was getting much warmer. I could feel my feet. I began feeling that I was inside my thin, frail body. The pain and hunger swept over me like a tidal wave._

'_I'm so hungry. Can we go to McDonalds? My back hurts. My legs hurt. I'm tired.'_

'_Mimi, hold on to me. Someone get her some food!'_

_After what seemed like seconds, I tasted something hot and salty pouring down my throat. Mark turned on a projector. Pictures of my friends were flashing on and off the wall. They were all here. I was warm, happy, and alive. I was alive. Angel sent me back._


End file.
